did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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