I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
