what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Bang-toberfest begins!!
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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