Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Randomize
