anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
