Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Randomize
