Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I think my moral compass just broke
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
