found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
