I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
