Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
