suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
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