Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Randomize
