I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
i dont even know how to be here
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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