Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
