im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Randomize
