So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Randomize
