she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
