Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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