I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
either way he was missing a nipple.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
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