Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I still have a little drunk in my system
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
