i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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