She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
