so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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