oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Boobs speak an international language.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
