Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
