You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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