Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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