So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Randomize
