Sponge bath it is.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
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