what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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