even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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