We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
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