My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Randomize
