is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
