I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
We left the knife in your bed.
You made out with two different species that night
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
