one two three fourrrrnication!
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
