Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
