I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
