I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Randomize
