I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize