I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize