Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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