I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
