Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Randomize
