I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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