I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Randomize
