hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Randomize