Sponge bath it is.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Randomize
