She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Sorry about my life...
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Randomize
