..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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