Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Randomize
