I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
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