I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
