i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Randomize
