how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Randomize
