People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize
