I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Randomize
