what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Randomize
