Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Randomize
