I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize
