my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
