he tried to breastfeed my turtle
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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