why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Randomize