just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize