You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
