i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
