How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
