Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
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