you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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