she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
You know, be my cock's hype man.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Randomize
