Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
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