i permit you to call me
this boner is exhausting
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Randomize
