My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Randomize