New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
