Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
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