a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
