so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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