So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
