Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(714): View more from California

It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...

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(847): View more from Illinois

we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.

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(419): View more from Ohio

Bisexual people are plain selfish.

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(314): View more from Missouri

What happened to the watermelon?

(1-314): View more from Missouri

You fucked it.

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(647): View more from Ontario

Get out of your relationship and into my pants.

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(630): View more from Illinois

I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....

(1-630): View more from Illinois

which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?

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(212): View more from New York

ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?

(1-212): View more from New York

this is Aaron, hi

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(303): View more from Colorado

Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?

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(404): View more from Georgia

She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.

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