I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize