At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
