I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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