I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Randomize
