You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
