i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
