i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
